Blood Danger

(by permission from www.onewoman.com)

Taboos are like rules, but they are ancient and unchangeable rules. Every society has its own taboos. For instance, most cultures do not allow brothers and sisters to marry: it is taboo. It is a rule, but it is more than a rule. Rules can be broken, or changed. Taboos are never changed, and breaking them is almost unthinkable. Menstrual blood and menstruating women are taboo in some way in nearly all cultures, including ours. It is what keeps us quiet about our periods.

Taboos are created to control things which are considered powerful or dangerous. The ability of women to bleed without being wounded, and to bleed in a predictable rhythm, like the cycles of the moon, combined with the ability to give birth, has been considered a kind of power by people all over the world since we became human. And whether the women were feared, worshipped or envied because of their periods, taboos were developed to protect society and the woman against this incredible menstrual power.

We no longer think of menstruation as a kind of power (although maybe we should), but we still hold on to some very old menstrual taboos. For example: Menstrual blood is considered powerful but also polluting. Most cultures require that women be careful about where their menstrual blood goes. We wrap our used pads in wads of toilet paper and bury them at the bottom of the wastebasket.

In some cultures women go to a special place during their period, where they are alone, or with other menstruating women. It is considered dangerous to have menstruating women around people who are not menstruating. Men are especially careful to stay away from menstruating women. In our culture we do not go into isolation (although in some communities the notion of the "menstrual hut" has been revived), but we are careful not to let anybody know we are menstruating, especially men. It is even embarrassing for some women to buy pads or tampons at the grocery store. Nearly everyone has trouble doing this, at least for a while, but nobody can explain exactly what is embarrassing about it. Maybe it is because slapping that box on the counter is a way of saying "I menstruate! I could be menstruating right now!" in front of a bunch of strangers, which breaks the unspoken rule that you should keep it secret.

We may think our society does not follow taboos, that taboos are primitive and superstitious, but we do follow menstrual taboos. It important to understand that these taboos exist, because if you do not see them as a part of the big picture, you might want to take the shame and embarrassment about your period inside of you, like it was your fault, like you are doing something wrong by menstruating. These taboos are older than your grandmother's grandmother, and are built into everyone's brains. They will not be easily changed, but you can change by understanding that they exist. In societies where they are open about menstrual taboos (instead of pretending they don't have any) women are not ashamed of their periods, they just know that they have special things to do when their periods come.

Hi! I come from India and my first periods were celebrated in a very grand fashion. In India, particularly the southern India, a girl's first menstruation is a matter of great joy to the community. Initially for the first three days she is not allowed to touch anything in the household nor participate in any household chores. During these three days food is brought to her which is very rich in fat. After the three days all the women of the community are invited to a grand function exclusively for women. In the function the girl is dressed in a women's attire for the first time and songs of a women's life are sung. After a lunch for those women everyone give her gifts usually jewelry, and leave. From then on she is eligible to wear a women'sdress, which is the saree and should always put kumkum (the red spot) on the forehead, which basically signifies a womenhood.The only time the kumkum is removed is after she becomes a widow.